Little by little....

I'm starting to see a difference!! I can feel the muscle tone in my legs and can see my abs flattening! I haven't been able to weigh myself on a good scale in a while but I don't really care at this point. I feel good so I'm happy with that :)

I finally got a good pair of running shoes!! Ive been using a pair that my friend gave me a while back and they are about a half size too big for me. Ive been getting cramps in my left foot and it makes it hard to push myself when I want to keep running.

I have been using some home remedies on my skin and haven't had enough time to make a judgement about them. Ive also kept up with treating my stretch marks and have notice a slight lightening :)

I have been stressing about work and I keep telling myself and everyone that it is in God hands and that I'm just gonna have to hope for the best. I had an interesting offer come up today so I'm gonna go with it and see what happens!!! Keeping my fingers crossed!!!

I have been working on my room as much as possible and little by little its coming together!!! Its weird how happy it makes me to do little things like organize my closet lol.

Its been so beautiful outside lately!! After the terrible freeze that hit us last week its so amazing to feel the warmth of the sun!!! So I'm hoping to be able to run outside soon!!! There are so many awesome trails around the foothills and now that Ive been getting in shape I'm excited to see how far I can go!!

I knew I could do it!!

So I pushed myself today at the gym and I ran 10 miles!!!! WOOOO!! It took a little less than 2 hours but Ive never tried to go that far before so it felt awesome!!! I don't know what Ill do tomorrow morning but I'd like to stay above 5 miles every day this week! I said in a previous post that I would like to weigh 168 by Friday and I honestly believe I can achieve that goal!

Ive been thinking too much lol Ive been stressing myself out and its really out of my hands. It just takes a lot to realize that. I started thinking maybe I should be on some kind of medications like an anti depressant? But Ive gone that route and I really didn't like it. So I decided to be dedicated to taking my St. Johns Wart as directed to see if it will help. Along with that I take 4 different vitamins every night before I go to bed...calcium, b12 complex, womens multi vitamin, and iron. As far as my sleeping problems I found some melatonin that is 10mg and time release. Ive been taking it for the past few nights and it really has helped! Usually I wake up, get up, get a drink, wash my hands, put lotion on or other random things, but lately I feel so sleepy and comfy in my bed that I go right back to sleep!!

I feel like I'm taking baby steps, and each day I get a little closer to my goals. Closer to me, getting back to feeling like my old happy self again. I pray to God that I will find my way, find some direction, find where I am supposed to be. I know what I really want in life is to spend time with my family, make sure they are taken care of and that they are happy. I have to give it up to God because only he knows what my future has in store. I just have to hope for the best and do the best I can!! I tell myself everyday that good things are coming our way and not to stress over what I cant control. If I have to go back to work full time then I will find a way to make it work. For now I will take advantage of my free time, get healthy, and cherish every moment I am blessed to be able to spend with the people I love :)

BRRR!!

This week has been kinda weird. The temp dropped like crazy and it was the coldest it has ever been in Albuquerque! Therefore I missed two days at the gym :( I went on Wednesday to get my measurements done though and also worked out. I'm still 38, 26, 38 and 173 (so I lost 5 lbs!!) but I also discovered that I am 36% body fat :/ Don't really like that number! But at least now I know and at the end of March we will be measured again and I'm excited to make a big difference and see results!

I painted my entire room and I LOVE IT!! Now I'm just waiting till I get a little more money so I can do the other improvements to my room that I have planned. The paint is called Drizzling Mist and it came out so perfect!

My daughter didn't have school all week due to the snow and the coldness. The school were shut down all over the state because there was no gas to heat them!! NM has been in a state of emergency! Thank God we had no problems at my house!! It was just too dang cold to go anywhere! I really cant wait till summer now lol

Work sucked today, which is not normal cause I love working at the gym, but it seems like its gone from an awesome job to a crappy one. I even feel like the free membership isn't worth it!!! But I'm gonna stick it out cause I think today was just an off day.

My daughters father spent the night a few nights ago and thought it would be funny to tackle my on my bed, however I just rearranged my room and my bed wasn't properly set on the frame so in mid tackle my heel hit the corner of the iron frame and punctured me deeply :( It still hurts to walk so I'm a little worried about running! But since I missed a few days last week I'm gonna hit the gym tomorrow morning, I really wanna try to run 10 miles tomorrow. Just to see if I can do it. If my heel starts hurting or bleeding I'm gonna stop. Cardio is my favorite part about working out though so I hope I don't have any problems. 

I started treating my stretch marks and I'm trying a few things on my face right now. I haven't seen much of a difference, but its only bee a week. I'm keeping my hopes up :D 

Next week is gonna be week 3 so I'm hoping to get down to 168ish lol which would mean I will have lost 10lbs in 3 weeks and that is half of my goal!! Ill be really proud of myself so I'm gonna keep trying really hard! I know I can do it!!!

SNOW!!!

It was soooo cold yesterday, and there I was with the windows open in my bedroom painting away!! LOL! I finished about a wall and a half before the lil monkey had to be picked up from school. Its tedious to paint the trim and borders and when you have OCD like I do it takes forever!! Haha! But it looks BEAUTIFUL!!! I'm so excited to continue today! My bestie is hopefully coming by to help me and if she does I have a feeling we can finish it all! I learned a little trick on HGTV on how to paint perfect borders, I was a little sceptical but I put in the time and effort and it came out AMAZING!! I LOVE IT!
So I went to the gym yesterday and did 6 miles of cardio and maintained a diet right at about 1500 calories if not less :) I did real good lol. So we've got about 5 inches of snow on the ground and its supposed to continue till Wednesday. I think I'm gonna get all geared up and head out to the gym anyways. I'm really determined to make some big changes and if I let myself slide one day its gonna be a domino effect and Ill fall way off track.
Im gonna go make some breaky for my little love bug and then get ready for the gym! My sister is also off from school so shes gonna babysit till I get back. She is also going to help me do something a little drastic to my hair. I'm a little nervous, but my sister is very talented and I have faith that she wont make me look like an idiot lol. THENNNNNN painting is going down! I want to finish today so I'm gonna work hard to get it done. Its hard to sleep when my room is so out of order. But I'm really excited to get it all back together :D

CHANGE IN PLANS!!!

While I was at work yesterday I was asked if I wanted to join the Employees Only 8 week fitness challenge? And I was like "HELL YEAH!" We will have our measurements taken, and the winner will be determined by loss in inches and overall weight loss. The diet and exercise plans are all up to us! 1st place takes home $100!! Now Ill be competing against personal trainers and fitness instructors, so ITS TIME TO STEP UP MY GAME!!! I really want to get serious about this. I did really well this week with my gym routine, but the diet part was only so so. Starting Monday, I'm going to ease into a new diet plan. I'm terrible at counting calories so I'm gonna eat when I'm hungry, not gonna starve myself, but I'm going to restrict my choices. Time to make healthy decisions!!!!
My appointment for measurements is on Wednesday at 1pm. I don't know if we will be getting our measurements taken periodically or only again at the end of the 8 weeks, but I'm gonna try to get them again at the half way point.
I would have to say that even though I want to be excited about a lot of things today, I'm in the most terrible mood! Nothing seems to make me feel better :( I just wanna curl into a ball and DIE! That would be the PMS talking! I'm having severe cramps and lower back pain :( This usually will only last a day or two so hopefully Ill feel better by Monday. But geez!!! I hate feeling this way!!! It doesn't help that my entire body is sore from working out all week! But I'm glad I did :)
As for working out yesterday, today, or tomorrow....not happening!  I wasn't really planning on it anyways, and with the way if feeling it would just be bad lol. So I guess theres a lot to look forward to next week :) I wonder if my measurements will be any different then when I got them done in December? Better? Worse? Who knows, but Ill find out Wednesday :)
Now I just gotta do my best to enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Emotional day!

So I went to the gym as planned today but all the ellipticals were taken so I decided to jump on the treadmill to get warmed up....bad idea! I feel like I'm falling apart!! Both my ankles were aching! So after half a mile I decided to take a potty break and see if there might be any freed up when I was done....luckily one did! I changed things up a bit though. I was supposed to do 2-3 miles of cardio abs and lower body, but I ended up doing abs and 6 miles of cardio burning over 600 calories :)
Today was pretty emotional though. Our family has had some issues with my older brother ever since he got married and its been really hard on everyone. Its been almost two years since we've all been together and I just cant take it anymore! So I decided to take the 1 hour round trip out to his house and confront him. It wasn't as harsh as I thought it was gonna be, but it still hurt. Ive been crying about it all morning and ever since I drove away. But I know that what I did was right and that I planted a seed. So I will continue to try to make things right and I know that my Dad will help me fix our family.
Tomorrow I'm working all day then going out to my best friends house so I wont be working out at the gym. Luckily she has an Ab Circle as well so Ill jump on that for a few minutes to keep up with my routine :) I haven't figured out yet if Ill be doing anything special Saturday cause my mom and sister wanna hang out, so we will just have to see. I don't know if I will weigh myself tomorrow but I'm sure the curiosity will get to me. I feel great though and I put on my size 13 jeans with no problem today :) I'm really hoping they'll start to feel baggy on me soon!!
So I'm keeping my hopes and doing the best I can. Praying every night that God will give me strength and guidance :)

Taking it wasy on myself

So I did pretty good on my diet last night. I did however forget to do the Ab Circle. DANG IT!! Also I think I took too much of the Redline yesterday cause I couldn't sleep AT ALL last night.

Went to the gym this morning, took only a few sips of the redline, and decided to do all 3 miles on the elliptical. It felt good and my knee is feeling better. I did Abs and upper body. Ive been sore but after running and stretching I'm feeling really good!! I was supposed to go to an Ab class tonight but my mom surprised us by taking us out to a Colombian restaurant for dinner!! I love it! It really is my favorite food!! I did so well on my diet all day that eating there didn't really throw it off....but I haven't eaten the flan yet lol!!

Ive been stressing a little about finances but I have to keep telling myself that everything will work out and that I just need to be patient. I know that God has a plan for me :)

I went to Walgreens with a couple extra bucks and got a shower mitt and some Epsom's salt to get started on my experiment for removing my stretch marks!! I also took some before pics of my body, stretch marks, and a close up of the acne on my face. I think the after pics will be amazing! Tee pic of my face is terrible cause I'm about to start so my face is breaking out so bad, any pic after this week will show a huge difference lol. The body pic I took in this amazing neon yellow bikini that I got last summer from Victorias Secret and Ive never worn in public so I really cant wait to see how much I can improve my body and hopefully get to wear it for real some day!!

So I'm keeping my hopes up and trying to stay focused. It will be really nice to go out to my best friends house this weekend. Its so far out of town that it always feels like a mini vacation :)

So gym again tomorrow morning and gonna have to find some time this weekend hopefully, to squeeze in another work out. Also I really need to be drinking more water! So Ill keep moving forward and really try to keep my hopes up :D

Shame on me!!

SO I goofed up my diet last night. We decided to go out for dinner and my will crumbled. I had a big fat juicy cheeseburger!! It was so delicious lol So I decided to work a little harder at the gym today. Did 4 and a half miles of cardio and worked my abs and lower body hard. Spent over 2 hours at the gym!! It felt awesome and I was really happy to be there this morning, but I know I'm gonna be hurting tomorrow! Its a good thing though, cause sometimes I work out all morning and I never get sore. At least this way I know I worked hard and the muscles are repairing and building. I felt so sluggish this morning I decided to get some kind of energy drink. I have minor heart issues so I was careful in deciding. I know that I cant take redbull plus I think it tastes nasty. So I bought some liquid Redline, its a drink designed to give you energy before a workout and WOOOOO! It was AMAZING! I was so happy and focused it really helped me! Each bottle contains two servings so Ill have some left for tomorrow morning :) I brought my stuff to sit in the hottub today but I just didn't feel like it, so maybe some other time this week.
I crushed the meniscus in my knee in high school so Ive always been reluctant to get on the treadmill as apposed to the elliptical, until a few months ago. I got on it and did about a mile. It really feels better than the elliptical cause I feel like I'm doing more for my body. However, I pushed myself to go hard and fast today and my knee isn't feeling so hot :( So I may have to stick to the elliptical for a while until I feel my knee is ready for the treadmill again. I'm getting really excited for the warmer weather!! I wanna run outside and go for bike rides!! I think it would be awesome to take my daughter out on a bike and ride all over the awesome trails that are so close to my house.
So today I'm really gonna try and focus on staying under or at the 1500 calorie mark. I'm gonna weigh myself again on Friday to see if Ive made some progress. I certainly hope so after how hard I have been and will be pushing myself this week! But I'm not gonna let the numbers get to me. I know that muscle weighs more than fat so Ill be gaining and losing constantly. I just cant wait to actually see the results in my features!! I'm debating taking a before and after pic cause its hard to see myself the way I am now. But I think I will do it just because I know the difference will be amazing :)

Case of the Mondays??

NOT ME! Lol I love Mondays! Its like a fresh start every week! My daughter went to school this morning and was happy to be there :) I went straight to the gym and started my work out. Ran 3 miles burning 340 calories. Did abs and upper body weight lifting. Then came home after a quick stop at Lowes for some paint swatches, and did 5 minutes on my Ab Circle. Drank 32 oz of water and had a 140 calorie breakfast bar. Gonna drink a protein shake and jump in the shower. Since I didn't sleep much last week I think Ill take a nap :)
I'm getting really excited to paint my room and its a great feeling! I love change and I move my bedroom furniture around constantly, but I think after I paint it I will be able to situate my room in a very functional way and still have space to sit on the floor and do art projects and homework with my daughter. Also making the best out of my furniture and purchasing a few pieces that will really complete my sanctuary lol.
I have a few things to handle this week that have to do with my income. Its frustrating and time consuming but I know once its done Ill feel more relaxed. Friday is the only day I work this week, but I love my job and where I work so it will feel good to be back there since I had to call in last Friday due to my daughters illness.
I'm also going on my 1500 calorie diet today so I'm keeping track in my head of what I'm consuming and gonna plan something delicious for dinner :) I weighed myself today at the gym and I'm currently at 176. Which is good considering how badly I ate last week and that I didn't work out at all. I would like to lose 3 lbs this week. So I'm gonna work hard to stay on track!!
Well its time for a shower :)

TOMORROW!!!!

Its been a hell of a week!! My daughter has been very ill since last Sunday. We went to the doctor twice due to how sick she was. Her fever finally broke yeasterday morning and she is almost completely back to normal! Hooray!! So it was a week of no sleep, overwhelming stress, eating terribly, and no gym! Tomorrow she will be going bck to school, and I will begin my 7 week transformation! Im so excited to get back into the gym!! Its been a place of peace for me, as weird as that may sound. I put my ipod on and jam out! The gym I go to is one of the best in NM. So I think I may start taking advantage of some of the other anemeties besides classes....like the hottub! lol. My face is breaking out pretty bad so that must mean mother nature is right around the corner :/ It gives me an excuse to not go to the gym but in the lat few months Ive been able to workout through it. This is what Im hoping my week will look like:

• Monday ~ AM work out 2-3 miles cardio, abs, and lower body weight lifting. Also starting my 1500 calorie diet.
• Tuesday ~ AM work out 2-3 miles cardio, abs, and upper body weight lifting.
• Wednesday ~ AM work out 2-3 miles cardio, abs, lower body weight lifting, and PM Abs Solutuion Class.
• Thursday ~ AM work out 2-3 miles cardio, abs, upper body weight lifting
• Friday ~ I have to work most of the day and Im planning on spending some time with my best GF :)
• Saturday ~ AM Spin Class called Cycle Lite. Its for beginners so Im gonna give it a try!
• Sunday ~ Relaxation Day

Also I will be getting on my Ab Circle for 5 minutes every day! At the end of December I got my measurements, Im 38, 26, 38. I would love to drop some inches around my hips. Two weeks ago I weighed myself and I was at 174. I was at 165 before my daughter was born, and 155 is where I have felt my healthiest. I would like to shot for 150, mostly because I want to be leaner and more tone. I will get my measurements taken again in 3weeks to see how I have progressed. Im feeling a little bummed about my skin but I know it will clear up in a few days or so.
Ive made a promise to myself that I will not buy another pair of pants or jeans until I can comfortably fit into all of the pants hanging in my closet. They range from sizes 10-13 so its not that big of a difference, I know I can do it!!
After the stressful week Ive had I have decided to treat myself in a way that will give me some peace and relaxation. Im giving myself a bedroom makeover. Ive decided to do a lot of DIY projects and Im extremely excited to get started!!! Im going to paint my entire bedroom, refinish my old dresser, replace the ceiling fan, finally purchase a bedframe, and get some small fixtures and extras to make the room into my perfect relaxation getaway!! My daughter and I spend  a lot of time in my room so Im going to make it a beautiful place for us both to hang out  :D
Well time to get to bed and get rested for a productive Monday!! Wish me luck! Much love!!

Research...WOW

Its really amazing what you can learn on the internet. Time consuming...yes! BUT SO WORTH IT!!

For Goal #2 Heal my SCARS:
I gotta say there is so much out there right now that will claim to heal or make stretch marks disappear. After reading about 100 reviews on these products I have decided there are 3 worth trying (and in my price range). However, I read a lot about Home Remedies and found it to be extremely appealing!! The investment would consist of:

• 100% Pure Aloe Vera gel
• Pure Lavender oil
• a luffa (sp?)
• Epsom's Salt
• a small empty container for finished product

So first it says to take a hot bath and use the Epsom's Salt and luffa to massage the area with the stretch marks. Then in a bottle mix 5 drops of Lavender Oil to every 1 ounce of Aloe Vera Gel. Shake until completely mixed. Apply to the area 3 times a day. Also this mixture is not sticky and is very good for your skin so it can be applied as much as I like :) I'm really excited to try this!! As I'm getting older and wiser ;) I'm finding that all natural products are really the best options!

For Goal #3 Get clear SKIN:
The research on this is so hard because everyones skin types are different. So its hard to judge a product by the reviews. I happen to have VERY oily skin. I have to reapply my make-up like 4 times a day! Its so frustrating!! I read so much about all the gimmicks out there right now and wow its really all bout the MONEY!!! Ive managed to cross out MaxClarity from my list though. So I'm leaning more towards the Clinique Acne Solutions system. However I will be conducting more research into all natural products and perhaps even home remedies :D

Answers...

My family and I are originally from Southern California. We moved out of state a while back and have made our home in New Mexico. I went back to visit in July 2010. I stayed with friends and family, but I was alone. In about 7 weeks I am planning on going back, this time with my family and my daughter :) She hasn't been to Cali since she was just a few months old. It means the world to me for her to see my Fathers Mother. She is the only Grandma I have left and I know that my father would want her to so see my daughter as soon as possible. Also I want to take my daughter to Disney Land. I don't know how my parents did it when I was a child because there were 4 of us and times were tough, but they worked a miracle and even though I was only about 5 or 6, I will never forget it! It really is magical and I think my daughter is at the perfect age to really go nuts! Before this vacation I want to be a new/better me. I want to feel good in my skin. I want to have energy to take advantage of the time we have there. I want to be strong and supportive for my family that needs me. I want to have fun and not stress about ANYTHING while I'm there.

Steps to success

I have 4 major goals:

• Goal #1 - Lose 20 lbs. I am a fairly active person. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I don't have a very consistent routine but I always run at least 2 miles. Starting next week I will go to the gym 4 mornings to do at least 3 miles of cardio and rotate between working upper body and lower body with abs EVERYDAY! I will take two evening classes on which I haven't decided yet. I will maintain a 1500 calorie/day diet. And I will spend 5 minutes a day on my AbCirlce (because it really has works for me). This will change from week to week. Increasing my workouts and decreasing my caloric intake. I don't think I will go lower than a 1000 calorie/day diet. It wouldn't be healthy.

• Goal #2 - Heal my Scars. I have been using cocoa butter daily for as long as I can remember. I have done some research and I am investing in a product that claims to work wonders. At this time I will not name the product, but after my experiment I will post the name and effectiveness :) I haven't purchased it yet but I will note in my blog when I do get it.

• Goal #3 - Get clear skin. As I said in my previous blog, I have tried a number of products for my skin. From Acne treatments, Acne friendly make-up, to doctor prescribed medications. There are 2 different products that I am considering right now. MaxClarity and Clinique Acne Solutions. I will continue to conduct research on the products until I feel confident in purchasing one. My mother said that her sisters used Clinique and it worked well for them. So if this is something hereditary then maybe it will work for me as well.

• Goal #4 - Find myself. This one is tricky. There are a lot of things that can help me find my way again. Accomplishing the first 3 goals that I have will be huge steps for me. I need to work on my sleep patterns. Its hard to fall asleep and/or stay asleep. My doctor gave me a few different meds to try, but I don't like the effects and I don't want to be addicted to something like that. I'm trying melatonin but I think I need a higher mg. I MUST quit smoking. It has made me feel disgusted with myself. Before my father passed away I would smoke from time to time but after this tragedy I have been smoking like a train. I bought my last pack last Friday and smoked my last full cigarette two days ago. I know I can do it and I know Ill feel so much better once its over. I need to find a way to let my creativity out. I'm getting really excited to do a makeover on my bedroom. I'm going to be painting the whole room. Sometimes I get really down and cant sleep when something is bothering me about my room. I also feel like I need to spend more time outside. Maybe I'm one of those people who needs sunshine for the vitamin D haha! Ive finally decided that Ill be going back to school this summer. Ill only be enrolling in one class until I can regain my financial aid. It will feel really good to be back in class.

So this is a start to rediscovering myself. I know that I have the support of friends and family. And since I started this blog yesterday I have a little excited feeling in my chest. I can feel my smile creeping back lol. I know that I can do this, and I will push myself to achieve my goals. I hope that happiness and peace are found along the way. I pray for this every night as well as count my blessings :) I know that I am a lucky girl.

From the beginning...

Ive been in a slump. After having a baby it took me a while to try to lose the weight...and be serious about it. She is now 4 years old and I still have about 10 lbs to go to be at my pre-baby weight. Although I would like to set a goal of at least 20 lbs to be a leaner healthier me. To get an idea of how hard I have worked...I gained over 80 lbs during my pregnancy. I was very sick and it was mostly water weight. Gaining that weight has left my abdomen terribly scared with stretch marks.

• Goal #1 - LOSE 20 POUNDS

I used to be a bikini girl. I lived in my bikinies. Sometimes I thing I took my body for granted...but I definitely did NOT! Ive always been a curvey girl and before I had my daughter I flaunted my body. I loved everything about my curves! And I never had a problem with showing a little skin...not in a trashy way of course. But since my daughter was born I feel like a burn victim! Although my abdomen has gotten much flatter the scars are still so terrible in my eyes. I feel like Ill never wear a bikini again!

• Goal #2 - Heal my SCARS

When I was a teenager my skin got bad when I hit puberty. Acne covered my forehead. As I grew older it faded and I had a blemish on my cheek from time to time but nothing too serious. I still think I wore too much make up haha. But the funny thing about getting pregnant is that your hormones start bouncing off the walls! And all of a sudden I was 12 all over again! Acne covered my entire face! I tried ProActive and I was religious about it. It dried out my skin so bad and still left blemishes all over. FAIL! So I asked my doctor for help. She gave me a topical ointment. I couldn't take anything orally because I was breast feeding. Throughout the last 4 years I have tried a number of products. The worst was Nutrogena. It destroyed my skin! It dried it out so bad that my skin cracked and bled. It was so painful! So again, I went to my Dr. for help. I was prescribed an antibiotic and a topical ointment. It helped a lot. It came with a few unwanted side effects though :( the Retin A dried out my skin so that I could no longer get my facial hair waxed or go anywhere near the sun without a hat and lots of sunscreen. The antibiotic I had to take twice a day and soon started giving me yeast infections. About 4 months ago I stopped using both. My skin is still OK. I would say I have moderate acne. It usually acts up when I am menstrual. I have done a lot of research and I believe it is time to invest in my skin!

• Goal #3 - Get clear SKIN

I used to feel like SUNSHINE :) I was happy all the time. So upbeat and optimistic about life. I always had a smile on my face, I was a shoulder to cry on, a positive word of comfort or love, and people would say it was like soaking up sunshine to be around me. I would laugh a lot. I would have energy to do anything and everything. I guess you could say I was bubbly too. April 17, 2009 my father passed away and my entire universe was turned upside down. For about 3 months I was lost and by lost I mean completely lost inside and out. I lost myself when he left. My heart was empty. My mind was scattered. My soul was broken. I felt like I was waiting to wake up from this nightmare. Sometimes I still feel that way. Ive tried so hard to get back to who I was. To look on the bright side, to be thankful for what I do have, to count my blessings everyday, to smile and laugh and let my heart flutter. But I cant. I feel stuck. Like I have nothing to be proud of. Like I have lost my way and I'm wandering around with no purpose. I know that I want more for my life. I want to have a family, get married, buy my own home. I want to go back to school, work more and hard to feel good about what I do. I want to be around the people that I love and feel like they feel good just being around me. I want to feel like SUNSHINE again!

• Goal #4 - Find PEACE, Find MIRANDA

So now I have to find ways to meet these Goals.....That will be a blog for tomorrow.